Awkward: Team Matty or Team Jake? A Logical Interpretation

By Diane Gutman
(via The Daily Hey Now!)

Awkward’s back and on the air and I am rejoicing like a tween at a One Direction concert. With a new season upon us our klutzy, heroine Jenna has a lot of decisions to make. After the first episode back, Resolutions it seems pretty clear Jenna has made her choice on who her main squeeze is going to be, but it’s definitely a lot more complicated than that. With Matty on the prowl to win back Jenna’s heart and Jake vying to officially become her boyfriend via social networking things are getting hairy for our girl. I decided that I’ll make my own decision on who Jenna really belongs with by doing the only logical thing anyone would do (…on television) and make a pro’s and con’s list of what both boys have to offer after which we can make a sound, healthy, decision on just who is the best choice for our girl Jenna Hamilton.

Team Matty AKA Team “GIRL, LOOK AT DAT BODY!”:

Pros:

• The Abs.
• He was Jenna’s first
• The Abs
• He was her hero!
• The Abs
• He liked her when she didn’t
• The Abs
• He told Jake he was hung up on that girl from camp.
• Abs.
• Easy on the eyes.
• Abs.
• Mysterious!
• Six Pack

Cons: 

• He acts like a little kid
• Wears shirts
• Hid her from the world
• Only wanted a relationship after he found out he had competition
• Needs to never wear a shirt
• Doesn’t care that his best friend is dating her and still wants to seduce her.
• Shirts.
• Doesn’t know what he wants
• Kisses other girls
• SHIRT.

Team Jake AKA Team “Aww! He’s So Cute!”:

Pros:  

• 
  Cute
• Smart
• He’s the popular kid and he was never ashamed of hanging out with Jenna.
• Those eyes!
• They have fun together
• He knows what he wants
• Popular but not douchey about it.
• Cares about the little things
• No seriously he has really nice eyes.
• Dances like a weirdo and isn’t afraid to show it!
• Her friends like him!
• He’s so damn nice.
• His eyes can make any girl melty.

Cons: 

• He was into Jenna when he was with Lissa.
• He kissed Jenna when he was with Lissa.
• Seems like his jealousy might get the best of him when he finds out about Matty.
• A little oblivious sometimes.
• There’s only so much being cute, sweet and loyal can get you before you come out sounding like puppy.
• Doesn’t have as many con’s to list so I feel like I have done a terrible job.

So there you have it guys! The only scientific way to ever make a decision on who you’ll be rooting for this season on Awkward. A pros and cons list can only do so much, just ask Ross Gellar. So are you rooting for this season Matty or Jake? The Abs or The Eyes? Personally I’d take them both and wrap them up into one very exotic package.

Awkward Airs Thursdays at 10:30/9:30c. on MTV. For a Full Review of the first episode check out my review on FilmTrasher!

Bunheads- “Inherit the Wind”

by Kristina DeFonte
(via The Daily Hey Now!)

Last week’s episode left us with Michelle being the sole owner of Fanny’s home and dance studio. She thought that was all she owned, but with the help from annoying realtor, there was so much more….about 7 acres.

Michelle hasn’t owned much of anything before. She admitted committing 6 months to lease an apartment was overwhelming. Now that she owns all this land, in the course of 2 days, what’s a girl to do? Realtor lady tries convincing her to sell it all. She explains all the work that has to be done would cost a lot of time and money. Fanny sees Michelle and Realtor lady talking and knows what she’s up to. Small town, everyone knows who’s who. She yells at Michelle on why she would sell the house. Michelle isn’t selling anything, Realtor lady just showed up with a taco casserole and a magnet. (“A MAGNET?”)

Michelle and Fanny argue a little more, but Michelle just cannot deal with all of this so she goes for a drive in a car she now owns. Hubbell fixed a classic car with all new pieces from the internet. Her ride does not last long, and her car is stuck in a private road. She calls to get it towed, but can’t being that she’s 3 feet over the private road. She gets zip tied and Fanny has to pick her up like her 15 year old daughter vandalized. Once she gets home, she tries to get his car back talking up Bill, the guy who lives on the private road. The town heard he was a mean guy, but turns out he’s real cool and not named Bill. He calls his friend and tows her car off his road.

At the end, Michelle pours some wine for Fanny and herself. She explains that her home and studio are still hers, and they should just get really drunk tonight and start over tomorrow. So Vegas of you, Michelle!

In the ballerina portion of the show, the girls enter an ugliest feet contest. (Ew, feet) The only girl we learn more about is Sasha,(other than Boo having a crush on Melanie’s brother) the mean girl who seeks perfection. The girls talk about her in the locker room, but Boo says she just has problems at home and takes everything out on them. Sasha’s mother picks her up after class, and she could be a body double for a Real Housewife of Orange County. Checking her makeup in the car mirror, barely paying any attention to her daughter. Michelle finds her late in class, but Sasha claims her parents won’t know because they wouldn’t bother to check. Sasha begs for attention in class because she is ignored by her parents at home.The girls simply think she’s a bitch just because. People are quick to judge, but sometimes they have to stop themselves before they assume anything.

Did Michelle end up returning that Corgy?